I was born onto this horrible planet on June 11th, 2001. A day that brings terror and sorrow into my mind. This world sucks, I fucking hate it. I argue that bringing life into this world is destructive and harmful for everybody around. I also can't understand other people in the slightest. People piss me off. I want nothing more than for this world to come to it's end. This is not where I was meant to be. Nobody understands my pain, nobody understands anything about me. I don't like being here. It makes me so mad, the fact that I have to be here for years. I don't wanna live past 30, it scares the fuck out of me.
I had a great childhood. Everything was fine and dandy up until middle school. Now it's become this never-ending downward spiral, with up's and down's throughout my life. Everything was fine until around late 2011, early 2012. That's when shit started to go downhill for me. I've been fucked up beyond recognition. Things started going especially bad in July of 2023 when I made the mistake of accepting an invitation to a private Discord server. What happened to me there will forever scar me.
I became so jealous of everyone else, and unhappy too. "Therapy"? Ain't for me. I can't be fucked to put in that amount of effort. I thought I could, which was why I tried multiple times, and it always ended with me quitting. Why the fuck should I put in that amount of effort just to be happy? Think about it. I was happy when I was a kid, but now depression is destroying me. I didn't have to put in effort to be happy when I was younger, why should I have to do that NOW? Do yourself a favor: if you're struggling and someone tells you to go to therapy, don't bother. It's a waste of time. You will NEVER be happy. Accept it.
I struggle so much with a lot of things. I don't like my life, I don't like being in this world. To quote Creep; "What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here." It's true, though. It's 100% true. I hope that one day I can see the world's demise, and ascend beyond it, along with the one I love.
In my spare time, I like to look at Touhou stuff (but I don't play the games cause I suck at bullet hells), play old FPS games (Such as Doom 2), listen to music I like (some of which just so happens to be associated with "edgelords"...), and I like to ponder on the mortality of this world, and what can be done to put the dying Mother Earth down. I say "put it down" rather than "save it" because at this point it's beyond saving. Cats have been killed for meat, people have been bullied to death, and World War 3 is probably coming soon. The only thing we can do is to hope that Mother Earth is put down, we cannot restore it to it's former glory.
